Why Every Act of Child Sexual Abuse Should Be Educating Us All

– Pamela Pine, PhD, MPH, Founder and now Director, Stop the Silence®, now a Department of the Institute on Violence, Abuse and Trauma

Hundreds of girls practicing for the Olympics over the last 20 years were sexually abuse by their assumed-to-be trusted coach. Some girls told. Nothing was done. By anyone. The girls grew up. They told. Now, after keeping the secret for decades in some instances because they were groomed and shamed and manipulated into doing that, something may be done. In sports, some people are now saying: managers and administrators and coaches need to be trained; parents need to be educated; children need to be spoken to.

More than 1 in 4-6 girls and about 6-8 boys in the United States are sexually abused by the time they are 18 years old. This translates into more than 55 million adult survivors in the U.S. alone. At least 90 percent of the time, the children who are sexually abused are abused by someone who they know and who has regular access to them: coaches, yes, and teachers, clinicians, neighbors, and family members. About 40 percent of that 90 percent of people who are close to the children who abuse them are family members: fathers and step fathers, mothers and step mothers, uncles, aunts, cousins, brothers, sisters…

When an anonymous “Joe” from one state travels to another state and kidnaps and rapes a child, well, many people say: execute him, castrate him, throw him in prison for the rest of his life. But, when it is dad, and dad happens to be an important community member, and certainly saying something will bring real discomfort, well, maybe the child is just lying. Or maybe we need to work on unifying the family. Or maybe… And, the fact is, that different solutions do need to be found for each situation.

But, overall, we just don’t want to talk about daddy – or mommy. Especially if they are “good people.”

We must.

Child sexual abuse (CSA) and other childhood trauma (Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs, research done by Alda and Felitti) causes grave physical, psychological, developmental, and neurological short- and long-term harm to children and the adults they become. It results in a large spectrum of psychological and neurological and physical damage. It costs the nation billions each year in “clean up.” And decades of personal, familial, monetary and societal costs for adult survivors and those around them.

We have a national problem and the world has a global problem. If the numbers of any disease were as high as the numbers of CSA, we would dedicate resources to addressing the epidemic and research how to prevent it as a nation. Like we’ve done with breast cancer, like we’ve done with HIV, like we have done with obesity.

Children do not have a voice or the power to act preventively or in their own defense. We need to speak for them and act for them. Communities need training in how to talk about CSA, how to report CSA, and how to keep children safe during disclosures of CSA.

We need to enact laws for their safety. We need to educate and train all those who have access to and work with children: fathers, mothers, other guardians, nannies, teachers, coaches, nurses, doctors, other clinicians, police, social workers, clergy, court-related professionals and volunteers.

Yes, we should continue the conversations around #metoo, #metooCSA, #churchtoo, etc… AND, we need also need a national comprehensive movement of action to prevent, treat, and mitigate CSA.

Stop the Silence®

Child sexual abuse is a silent epidemic throughout the world, creating social havoc.